i keep walking around campus wondering if anyone is as stoned as i am
I have a new fascination with cutting really small segments of hair off peoples heads when they're not looking.
i cant remember past the part when we filled his tub with skittles.
I miss being able to drink at 11am just cause it was sunny outside.
Just know that as we speak i am injecting vodka into gushers
It's like a new game! Find out if he's circumcised without actually seeing it
It's been so long that I've occasionally forgotten I own a vagina
Pretty sure the shower sex fucked up my hip alignment... im walking like im 104 today
I draw, I play three woodwind instruments, I press buttons for eight hours at work and Im studying to be a gynecologist... I guarantee I can make you squirt, babe.
Well, if it gives you any indication, when I got there, there was already some dude passed out naked in the treehouse.
10/10 dentists agree that he is one bangable mother fucker. hint: i am all of these dentists.
If I died tonight, I'd be content knowing you were the last person to see my boobs.
Learn from my mistakes, you naive soul: Gay love triangles are just as dangerous as straight love triangles.
I think I’ve been affected by his dad mustache. I wanna ride it.
Pretty sure this radio station is run by a cult. Good thing it's in Spanish, can't brainwash someone who can't understand you.
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