He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.
Busta Rhymes just yelled at me! He cut a song off and I was clapping and he looked right at me and said "don't fucking clap." I was that white guy.
that's the ideal party shoe. cute, but i can still puke in them.
I am the master of subtle flirting. I seduced him by simulating a hand job with an epi-pen during training.
I think it's a friendship ring and the other part is on his cats collar
the outcome of this sandwich determines whether or not i do anything else with my day..
I passed out drunk and Jane had created a picnic on my chest. I had chips and a hamburger laid out on my boobs. The only reason I woke up is she was trying to feed me too.
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
So we came to a decision, you need to fuck your hot roommate and send us pictures. We voted, so don't hate the democracy this great country stands for
... Cuz there's nothing like having your two male roommates catching you have a good cry in the driveway at 9am on a Wednesday.
I have vodka and 50 pizza rolls best spring break ever
This morning when you were fucking me you said you'd go to the store and get me tampons and a 30 pack
All the movies on cable here are either porn or Bollywood. I am never leaving this hotel.
And two different second-graders said my make up was pretty. It's left over from last night bc I woke up 5 min before I was supposed to leave.
I just woke up with a pair of handcuffs in my pants, can u explain this?
Randomize
