So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
Nothing is worse than puking naked in front of strangers
Zach says you can't see his penis until after we're married...not sure why?! Bt then he said he thinks maybe you already have on the wild animal night!
girls mom is dying from cancer and she msgs me for a booty call. I guess people cope with their situations differently.
My neighbor asked me to tell you to stop changing in front of their house. Do I even want to know?
I put a toilet paper roll with my number on it by his face... hooking up is not happening
He just broke up w his most recent gf again, wish I could message her and be like it's not you he's gay.
He waited until after foreplay to tell me that he didn't have a condom and "we" would just have to settle for a bj tonight...
she's sniffed three people's necks on the bus to see who the good smell was coming from...
she's gonna get diseases
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
You had me at "let me see your balls"
She said I'm going to get you stoned and have you fuck me on the couch.
There's a Japanese guy here dressed as a Viking who just screamed "wats up cocksluts" and kicked a guy in the face. come get me out of here.
He sends me the same inspirational quote quotos that my grandma does. I no longer want to tap that.
you put your dick on my shoulder this morning like it was a fucking parrot
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