Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
I haven't gotten laid in forever. I'm obsessed. I imagine I this is how Ethopians feel about food.
If you fool around, take the WHITE sweatshirt off of her first. It's mine, and I don't like your cum nearly as much as she does.
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
You came home with a traffic cone and said, "this is my birthday condom."
I cannot even describe to you the most amazing ass I have ever had the pleasure of seeing walk up the stairs in front of me just now.
I would have dumped her already but between the 4 hr bjs and our shared love of enjoying thirsty Thursday naked while watching basketball I'd say its the best shot at love ill ever have
Yesterday you said I was the best.
No. I said you DID your best. There's a huge difference.
We had sex to beyonce's "drunk in love" and then he order me pizza. It was perf
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
Nothing like walk of shaming to the bus stop in your bar clothes at noon and seeing the fire truck you work on drive past with the other shift giving you thumbs up.. Brotherhood at its finest
Ohhhhhh, that night......I need to stop drinking, almost all of my conversations that take place Wed thru Sun after 8:30 are one blurry haze.
you're not celebrating your 21st birthday right unless you give a male stripper a hand job, flash the bartender, and win a free vibrator.
Uh oh. Put down the vodka cancel the clowns and get rid of the donkey
I just got out of a $280 speeding ticket by acting like The Big Lebowski. Seriously Jeff Bridges is the man.
Randomize
