On friday while at the hotel bar by myself (creepy) I made friends w/ a millionaire who said he may be running for the position of mayor in richmond va (likely a lie). At one point during our discourse he asked if I was crazy. In the effort of full disclosure I looked him in the eye and said yes
I don't know what prompted his inquiry, clearly this man had impeccable intuition
found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
I was taking a piss and started puking. I pissed myself and made a mess in the bathroom. Passed out, then got up and went back out from 11pm to 5am.
I changed 4 diapers and slept horribly in our hot apt. Now, I'm at my inlaws house watching the Rangers get pummeled. Oh how our lives differ.
why do i have 22 missed calls from someone who is literally saved in my phone as bumrape star??
I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
you were carrying around a glass of vodka telling everyone it was Russian water
Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college
Yea there's blood all over the porch but we wont have to buy alcohol for the rest of the week
I slid a quarter down a drunk man's butt crack last night. Qdoba gets rowdy
I dare you to find another dealer that delivers bud to your home along with deep fried vegan burritos
long story short, the bouquet was used as a sacrificial torch
I got a lap dance in honor of your birthday last night.
Thank you.
theres a video...
oh god.
You were so fucked you introduced me to a pile of Laundry
I wondered why I slept in the front room
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
Thumbs up
Fuck him. He can bang that skeezer all he wants. Fuck her lawyerness I’m a YouTube star
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