He said he only talked to me because I talk dirty in bed.
you might get a letter about the baby you put in me. i was mad when i sent it.
when did we get so old that our friends started having LEGITIMATE children?
so i say "rick dont build that sandcastle" and he "says ok i wont" then i wake up and its sandcastle fucking city all over my apartment
I figured, if I'm going to wear a gold cape its pretty safe to assume I'll be blacking out as well.
You drunk invited us to do an intervention for you.
He fell off a seesaw, tore half his ear off and somehow convinced the paramedic he was allowed to have a beer while being treated
we've called him dos banos ever since he threw up in 2 separate bathrooms with the same puke
it felt like i was a kid in an empty playground. i fucked him on every piece of furniture in the house and then when his housemates showed up i was naked in his bed like i'd been there all along.
I would not be 19 again if you paid me. Guess who found naked pictures of themselves? Fuck cocaine
This place smells like bottom shelf liquor and broken dreams
My roommate took my designated hickey removing spoon out of the freezer.
he's the second guy to suck on my nipple in front of my friends that i haven't made out with.
He's carved the words "SLAM STATION" into his headboard...
Completely unrelated and mildly related, a guy I hooked up with last year in a threeway died, his obit photo was his Grindr photo
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