We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
I swear he shrunk like 2 inches. Remind me that drunk sex needs to remain drunk sex.
she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
Shit, I may have left some acid in your bathroom last night. Has he been in there lately.
You basically tried to anal probe my passed out friend with a lamp
I might have to break the "you stay out of my sister and ill stay out of yours" pact that i have with tim
I hope your perfect outfit is a slutty power rangers outfit. That's been my dream wedding since I was a kid.
And the horses in Central Park have blankets. And Rafiki just told me "it is time" in the back of our cab.
how sketchy is it to eat a candy wrapped in masking tape from reggae night? because we totally just split it...
I would seriously fuck her so hard, her contacts would pop out of her eyes.
Tequila is gods way of telling you don't fuck with tequila
We ended up on their roof with our pants around our ankles shotgunning beers at one point.
Video footage says last night I reincarnated as stripper Shania Twain... Man, I feel like a (slutty) woman.
Well, he was my lawyer and now we get drunk and hook up.
That explains the way he looks at you.
Woke up with a grilled cheese in my hand, it was like god giving me a high five for the night before
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