do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
I want an alcoholic time machine so we could skip to new years eve
Hey just to warn you theres a really fat guy passed out in front of our front door snoring. Don't touch him, he's in god's hands now.
Trust me. My penis has made more than enough decisions this weekend.
I have fruit by the foot roll-ups. I wonder if a man could tie them together and make an editable bra....
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
As we're eating sushi she goes I just want to get a disease so my mom can take care of me... Great first date
I feel like we should at least be hungover if we're gonna be this grown up.
It was so cute that he apologized for getting cum on my couch. If he realized how many guys had cum on that couch in the past year, he wouldn't have touched my vagina with a 10-ft pole.
You ripped my pants off and gave me the choice use it or lose it what was I suppose to do.
There is a video of you making out with him, flipping off the camera, and holding the plastic flamigo that you had just stolen out of a yard
You said if the geese can walk on the lake so can I.
Instead of texting me to come over, she just sends me a batman symbol.
I don't care if she's a booty call. Marry her.
I'd kiss your neck and collarbone and then run my tongue up your neck to just behind your ear
And then lightly kick the curve inside your ear
Rationing the toilet paper. Only one wipe allowed. I'm scared to move too much.
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