It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
well now i know if i ever need to drive puke and talk on the phone at the same time i can
she's sitting here naked with heels and a taco.
He said "I wish they sold 40's in bars".. and a business plan came to mind. Maybe I CAN do something with my degree...
Who would have guessed that her hair would be so flammable
What's the proper amount of time to avoid my 76 year old neighbor that caught me with my pants down, peeing in my driveway at 5am?
I think I was using my hair to catch my vomit last night.
You were.
It's not even like I care. He was cute 30lbs ago and before he fucked that Michael Jackson look alike.
Tonight, a friend walked in and said "oh look at that. Drunk on the living room floor. Just as expected." this is my life. This is my life.
My brother didnt wanna sleep with her because she was my friend. Did I miss the memo where we're not supposed to be fucking each others friends? Oh well too late.
I don't know. I wanna do you but I also want a cheeseburger.
Grab some lube and condoms and you get a free shirt? College is weird
I mean, I've had her boob in my mouth, but is that romance?
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
I showed up drunk and covered in glitter, smelling like stale booze and dirty stripper and my younger brother gave thanks his life wasn’t a shitshow like mine
That’s how my thanksgiving went
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