i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
I can't believe you let me try to pierce your nipple with a dart last night
we were boning in the bathroom when her boyfriend came upstairs. I wish i could remember what happened next more clearly, because it had to have been hilarious
You told me that you only walk into walls because it makes the room stop spinning.
Barack Obama mentioned plan B and suddenly this address seems a lot more personal
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
Slept in my car last night. It snowed. I peed on the street. Hello 29...
I remember having the weirdest thoughts and thinking our room was a compass and we were in the compass or something.
If you've never been partying there before, take Shae with you. Drunk Shae is like a GPS. She found us the only bottle shop still open at four, a pot dealer, and told us all which subway to take to get home. She'd never been to Madrid before. It was awesome.
Ohh man. That was a snatch-waxer with a score to settle.
I've started brushing my teeth at 6pm, because honestly alcohol is the only thing I consume after that
He told me to take off work and bring a bathing suit. If this doesn't involve six flags hurricane harbor or sex in a hotel pool I'm going to be disappointed.
I need a hoe opinion
go on
hot take: drunk me can walk through walls?
At Target. Everyone is stocking up on food and flashlights for this storm. I stocked up on beer. Dont judge me, it was on sale...
Randomize
