hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
And before you get all mad cause I said "nipples," I actually discarded "you are so wet right now" and "you have such a raging clit-on right now."
That's called being sensitive.
No, I've only ever seen his brother's dick. So when I have lucid sex dreams, I just do a little cut and paste in my mind and stick his bro's package onto him.
I mean it was like cry my eyes out or masturbate in my moms bathroom.
At least I look tastefully trashed. My nipples are hidden and I'm standing up.
My phone keeps autocorrecting to the "st. Natty's Day Parade" and I'm completely okay with that
We are planning a drunk snapchat treasure hunt for tomorrow, and the treasure is his penis, this is a game I'm not willing to loose.
I don't know why I do this to myself his dick is a constant source of disappointment.
At least his std test came back clean, gotta look at the positives here
Yeah I was just reminiscing about that time a seagull shit on your head at the beach
I DONT WANT YOUR DICK. I WANT BRUNCH.
I was literally so lonely last night that I stopped watching a video on porn hub and just read the comments
It is getting ridiculous, the elaborateness of the schemes I have to concoct so my suitemates don't know I'm pooping.
For someone who claims to be straight, she knows a hell of a lot about bi erasure, and one Hayley Kiyoko song too many
Randomize
