Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
I can't go out tonight I need to save my money for important things.....like rogaine and ecstasy.
My boogers are black from last night. So that's either from all the colored hairspray or inhaling all of the tragedy from the party...
Found my smoke alarm in a ziploc in my toilet...again
he told me he was watching a movie and he'd be over later and i asked how long. he said 8 inches give or take. you cease to amaze me with the guys you set me up with.
I feel like I've been drunk all of June. And I am in NO WAY ashamed about it.
you picked up the vacuum cleaner at one point and said you we gonna beat the shit out of me with it. that was kinda funny
YOU COME FROM SAD WHALE FAMILY, DEEP IN OCEAN!
No, the moral of my Oxford interview was "Never snort caffeine pills".
Turn on the Discovery Channel
Lets fuck to motorcycle gang fighting
We don't have any ice, so I'm using the frozen cognac to reduce the swelling on Abby's toe.
I'm crying and shaving my Bronco playoff beard
sorry for any reference made toward your boobs or making you feel pregnant or incapable of peeing. make it a wonderful day.
I think my dick has healed enough that we can start having sex again
Used my power pack to charge my vibrator so I didn't have to unplug my switch or my galaxy lamp. TECHNOLOGY!
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