I seem to have left my pride at pride
his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
To be honest I don't know what's worse, the fact that I interupted their shower sex or the fact that I was so drunk I used the adjoining stall anyway
I would have to gauge my vagina to make it fit.
I'm trying to think of how to explain to the dentist tomorrow that I think I pulled my jaw muscle eating pizza while drunk.
I have the coolest burn here. Everyone is taking my picture. I'm like a celebrity of the burn victims.
I just woke up entirely naked on top of a pile of some guy's laundry on his bedroom floor.
I created a photogrid for every picture he has ever sent me of his penis. Now I can see every angle at one time. THIS IS GREAT.
Got laid last night using the intro line of "rate your hurricane evacuation plan on a scale of 1-10"
Mixing coffee with vodka may have been a bad choice, I feel like I'm pregnant and the baby is trying to perform a c-section from the inside.
Birthday are for suffering. TAke some tylenol pm and day-drink tomorrow
lonely sunday drunk me decided to tweeze my pubes. HORRIBLE IDEA
I mean of all the things to be cockblocked by, Taco Bell is pretty high on the list
IT'S LIKE LOOKING INTO GOD'S VAGINA!!!!
If you think that liquor is the way to shower sex then you're right.
Randomize
