its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off
I have demons in me.
I'm constantly one strobe light away from an E flashback
You told the cops that they couldn't arrest you because they weren't hot enough to fuck
mom and dad sent me an easter basket full of beer pong supplies again.
I can't. I can't get out. He cooked me food. And made me jager bombs. And painted a glow in the dark smilie face on my boobs
I think he just made me trade sex for my cat.
screw jello shots the kids from the culinary school made pudding shots with 4 loko.
I have a black eye again and dont know why again
i just love the holidays, i hotboxed a gingerbread house last night
Let this be a lesson to you, parmesan cheese crumbles are not a good substitute for coffee creamer, no matter how high you are
Learn from my mistakes. DO NOT try to steam a garment of clothing while you are wearing it. The burn is not worth the de-wrinkle.
Just let me put on a bra and brush the alcohol out of my hair.
I look over and the both of you are naked, and he's eating chicken nuggets off the floor
There is way too much butt cleavage here for a formal event.
Randomize
