I just masturbated at work. Does that make me a prostitute since i just technically got paid to have sex?
i guess that's what happens when you find your girlfriend at the zoo
I wanna tell red shirt guy I'm pregnant and use the abortion money for Coachella.
This is like the best thing that's ever happened to us. We're getting paid to sit around get high and eat. There is a Jesus
Possibly having a threesome with my ex boyfriend and his current girlfriend was great closure on that subject
My tongue is raw from licking all that salt with my tequila shots...happy cinco de mayo
Nothing $200 worth of strippers and spicy fried chicken couldn't fix.
Stop calling him just to say, "my vagina misses you."
I tried to put my heels in the coat check
The hot streak continues..if life was NBA jams i would be "on fire" right now
Look, he's a hot korean guy with a motorcycle and a great ass. I'm gonna do head-titingly kinky shit with him.
I'm kinda sad I'm leaving the bank. I never got to have rough sex in the vault.
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
I want to shoot him sideways (so he can still breathe) in the Adam's apple with my little crossbow.
He really is. Owns his own house and has more than one towel!
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