Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
Her little brother was home, so we had to hook up while playing hide and seek with him
he used his one phone call on me and it said "you have a collect call from- LETS GET IT- at the montgomery county jail".
Just bought lingerie with the intention of wearing it as a shirt. It's going to be that kind of weekend.
Uh, also, Rob told me he felt bad for choking you.
What is the appropriate way to inform him that I am TOTALLY down for break up sex?
Tell him I thought his Superman stand on your bed and cum all over your back was quite funny
I think that's the first time I've heard someone say "this is the safest way of doing things" while holding half a gallon of jagermeister
Living in the dorms has served one purpose and one purpose only for me: to teach me that pooping in public bathrooms is okay and that I can do it
I woke up in a strange bathroom. Was I blonde when you left me last night?
I've found my spirit animal. I'm a Snapple bottle. If you take my top off I'll tell you a fact about science.
Please call us Steph is okay but missing phone wallet tooth
i'm just really offended he didn't want to have breakup sex. like that was the only thing i was really looking forward to
I'm definitely not going to be able to fuck him high. I won't be able to not laugh at his man boobs
I need my sock, sombrero, maracas, and I just heard I had a light saber, if thats the case...i want that back too
Randomize
