let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
You probably shouldn't be hiding under someones bed listening to them get head
you thought your tounge was "malfunctioning" because every time u spoke it wouldnt sit still.
I feel like a need a fire hose to wash off what I did last night
Only your wife would write 'for deposit only' on the back of that $1500 check knowing full and well our capabilities of spending it on strippers and booze
we flagged you as soon as you tried to put the lime in the microwave to prove it was really a kiwi. again.
just put an icicle in the bong. best/worst idea ever. i think i can taste global warming right now.
Sometime between a drunk guy asking me if I'm a Beach person or a lake person WHILE HIS HAND WAS IN HIS FUCKING PANTS or breaking up a lady fight over peewee football league I started to reevaluate my life and self
I want him to rain dance my fallopian tubes.
Reached a new low last night. Passed out. With my pants down. On the toilet. At ihop. Waitress had to wake me up.
I just found a contact in my phone named "Sam 'it Won't Fit' Wilson". No clue when or where it came from....
All I'm sayin is that I don't want to raise anything. Or deal with anything. Or having anything come out of my vagina. I mean, I don't think that's asking too much.
Just to clarify, i'm coming over for tacos not a threesome
He has great stamina, he knows how to use his tongue, and he's hung like a goddamn Pegasus. I can overlook the man bun.
I've literally slept one hour I'm honestly just surprised you can insult me this early
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