about to play the homeward bound drinking game. alone. what are you doing tonight?
And then he used the flashlight app to illuminate me giving him head. Thanks IPhone
He's only a little bit crosseyed.
I think this is one situation where "a little bit" doesn't mean much.
So apparently when he was telling people he was in Alaska for 6 months he was actually in jail
It's just a condom. Most people would commend me for saying I was going to start using them, and you're acting like I'm going to try heroin.
All I saw was a beagle come across the screen and explain the theory of relativity to me and leave
apparently dick flashing is a frowned upon sport here..... sorry girlfriends mom
they're both probably 7 inches? or 8? I'm shoving a ruler in my mouth trying to figure it out
I'm not worried. All I have to do is not be the drunkest painter at 8:00. Golden.
cops woke me up on the sidewalk and asked where my shoes are.. fuck if i know, im sleeping on the sidewalk! actually i didnt say that, i just cried until they gave me a ride home.
I may have had sex with him and told him we wasn't worth my time then went home and made mashed potatoes
I just busted my piggy bank to afford McDonald's. This is my personal cry for help.
DON'T PUKE iN THE PRINGLES CAN, WHATEVER YOU DO!
We were mid fuck, and he did a Kermit the Frog impression. Is it weird that I was strangely turned on?
I just want him to go down on me while I eat a burger. Is that too much to ask?
Randomize