The trick is to not slur when purchasing the condoms at 3am
Just saw a white bronco on my way home from work and the license plate said "NOT OJ"
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
CANT TOUCH THIS JUST CAME ON MY IPOD. LOVE STEVE JOBS
he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
Currently separating the burrito I just stuffed in my purse from the weed in my half smoken bowl that was already in it. My what the fuck moment beats yours.
Yea i think drunk-me kept all my bar receipts, just to throw it in sober-me's face.
it's my birthday, i should be around people i want to fuck
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
he congratulated me on my ability to grow long hair after pulling it to see if i had extensions
How the fuck did I get back? Last thing I remember is being on some hot guy's shoulders yelling at girls shaking their asses
We'll talk about it later...
My night started to turn around the time I started calling her a "raggedy cunt".
Somehow she got that I meant it as a term of endearment.
Just stuck all that extra cocaine money we made in a savings account...like a responsible adult..
I'd rather blow Nickelback than be told he gave me gonorrhea. I'd even post it on Facebook for all of the world to like, share, and judge me.
andy told me i got kicked out of the bar and was so drunk i forgot and got back in line. the bouncer was zero impressed
Randomize
