Got home from the bar at 4am. 100% sober, unlaid. Epic fail or responsible behavior?
Responsible fail?
It's amazing how much jurassic park has contributed to my life recently
So random guy from last night came over tonight. I told myself I wasn't going to sleep with him but he had some killer dirty talk and a big penis in his arsenal...what was I supposed to do? Supposedly he lost his virginity to his wife and since their divorce a year ago I'm the 1st girl he's slept with, I feel like I just re-took his virginity...I feel like a rockstar.
Instead of having sex, we spent the entire night making pillow forts and have sword fights. I think I'm in love
look, i may have sacrified a 20% assignment for a sprite. this is what hangovers do to me.
if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
So apparently when he was telling people he was in Alaska for 6 months he was actually in jail
For some reason I just don't think you going to the gay bar alone on thanksgiving is a good idea.
In honor of the internet blackout, I think everyone needs to change their Facebook pictures to ones of them being blacked out.
Living in the dorms has served one purpose and one purpose only for me: to teach me that pooping in public bathrooms is okay and that I can do it
I'm 99.9% sure the people upstairs are using walki-talkies to talk to each other across the room. Too high for this shit
If you're mature enough to fuck him you're mature enough to tell him you don't want a relationship come on
Somehow she talked me into getting my dick pierced, weird first date.
The highlight of the trip was definitely my dad telling me that I "used to be his prettiest daughter."
He just walked in on me naked with a beer in my hand eating a calzone in bed. If he wasn't in love with me before...
Randomize
