I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
so later when i'm crying over him remind me that he once called his penis "senor weeper"
just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
before tonight, i was terrified of what tequila would make me do. but all it did was make me hook up with a movie star. sooo basically tequila's my new fave
it got awkward when she realized that our nickname for her was "The Hambeast"
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
What did he say? I couldn't hear him over the sound of how awesome his beard is.
So is there some kind of punch card you and I get to use every time we fuck a chick with a cast?
exactly. I want him to have to live with the fact that he fucked me. I want him to look me in the eye and say "you were a drunken mistake".
I'm a terrible friend...i should have come right over instead of having sex for an hour and a half. :/ want anything from burger king?
I have a high opinion of you, you smash bitches. Respect.
Wore a burger king crown while giving head still drunk this morning #blessed
After sending me a dick pic, he asked, "yay or nay?"
I think someone is dead in a car across the street
Scratch that, dude's getting a blow job
Thanks for supporting me through Robs retirement. I'm still in shock, but your dick helped.
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