didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
I am now the proud owner of a 10-12 year old's Optimus Prime costume from Walmart. Tomorrow is going to be a good day.
I think I'm on the verge of a really slutty period in my life
when i tried to put the condom on he started screaming about how he didn't want his groceries bagged
i lost his rear view mirror, your phone charger, and my lesbian virginity. 21 isn't shaping up too well so far.
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
They won't let us do straight shots of 151 since that guy lit his face on fire.
She was touching herself and looking a shoes online. My debt is bad enough without bringing that hot mess into my life.
She was purple for Halloween. She literally spray-painted herself purple and called it a costume. It won't come off.
I woke up in a poorly constructed blanket fort on a strange office floor covered in rug burns and champagne. How was your night?
I DON'T EVEN KNOW ONE MINUTE IM SITTING HER THE NEXT IM FLYING PASSED THE MOON
PISSING MYSELF IN ZERO GRAVITY
THOSE AIN'T STARS U SEE TONIGHT GURL
Tbh I fell asleep cuddling a bag of Brazilian nuts. Franzia never dissappoints me
i just got referred to as "the Loch Ness Cockster". God bless my Scottish heritage.
Glitter fights sound a lot funner in theory.
Btw I puked in your glovebox
Randomize
