I like how you refer to peeing in the car as "super cute"
Grilled cheese is the best thing. ever. better than boys, and alcohol, and sex, and chocolate, and money. But not really the last two.
is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
you left a note on your car that said " please dont tow, im to drunk to drive. safety first!"
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
I've taken to hiding pictures of us around his room so that he'll forever feel guilty for dumping me on Valentine's Day... And to potentially cock block any hook ups.
She has puke in her hair, is missing a shoe and is now crying. People trust her to be their child's teacher
You are the only person I know who got away with wearing a turtleneck while getting laid. ONLY person.
Can she stop putting up all these passive aggressive statuses and please come out of the "I-want-to-be-a-pornstar" closet already?
There are no female cereal mascots. I just realized that in my drunken state... So sexist...
Oh god now he thinks I'm into him because I've been staring at him trying to figure out what animal he looked like
how fucking stupid do you have to be to think I'm going to accept your friend request months after falling asleep during one night stand sex?
I CAN SPEAK THE LANGUAGE OF THE ANIMES.
I just woke up, its 6AM and i'm pretty sure the guy passed out next to me is 70% ugly...
I asked him if we could have sex sometime and he sent me a three page long text about his feelings for me. that's the only possible situation I've ever run into where a "k" response would have been more appropriate.
Randomize
