Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
I'm telling people I'm celibate. It sounds cooler when it's by choice.
you convinced me to pee myself because I was wearing dark jeans.
Thanks for the drunken voicemail of bird calls. Love and miss you, too.
I'm really hoping to find some quality strange ass tonight while at my court appearance.
The cops knocked on our door just to ask us if we were really having a no-pants party.
One time she made a chronological chart for the guys she has given blow jobs to, I shit you not.
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
Would you like season tickets to my vagina?
And tan into my neighbor in the elevator. She was going to the gym. I was covered in mascara and dog hair eating a hash brown
Is it bad that I recognize every dick in your dic pic collection?
I sat on his face and watched Mean Girls. It was a good date.
Let's celebrate our country being screwed by screwing.
I'm keeping both. The way I see it, boyfriends come and go, but a good dick is forever.
Based on the conversation I'm going to assume you didn't close the deal.
It started going awry when I fell through a roof.
Randomize
