Are they still out there making out on the couch? How can we get them to leave?
I 'm gonna go stand naked in the kitchen with a knife
it was almost as awkward as hearing my parents on friday nights in 2 in the morning starting, and than hearing at 2:01 my dad getting up and my mom going "i should have married a man"
I hate myself for saying your mom and I have the same friday nights.
don't worry... so do I
So i just bought beer on a credit card, using a fake ID, while wearing my nametag from work. All 3 have different names on them. God i love my boobs.
pretty sure i remember announcing that i lost my virginity to that brad paisley song when it came on during power hour?
No, he grudge fucked my ex so I wouldn't be tempted to get back with her. He is either the worst or best friend ever.
so does the 200 for rent and 150 for utilities include the never telling my boyfriend about the guys i bring home.. or is that extra?
saying that you may be able to suck the gay out of me was just my way of getting a blowjob...thank you for the valiant effort.
i don't think they understood the house was collapsing. they kept dancing and jumping and asking for more cups.
I was woken up at 4am by a stranger shaking my foot who said I looked like I needed a cigarette.
Also I have uncooked pasta. I was hoping that could get cooked at your place. Don't ask about the circumstances that I came into ownership of uncooked pasta
I can't drink with the moms anymore. All they talk about is lactating.
tried to out drink an american air force weapons loader. never again
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
We were getting breakfast he shit himself in the middle of ihop. Mid bite he just yells out o fuck.
Randomize
