Now you know why i just sit on the toilet and scream
Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
you passed out when you kept trying to hold your breath during the underwater scenes of 2012
she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
I found the other part of your tooth if you want to put it under your pillow
Handjob with gloves on results in friction burn. In case you've ever wondered
She told me that when she orgasms she just lays there like that baby from teenmom. Who the fuck says that
Succesfully slept on the roof at work for 3.5 hours without getting caught. I need a promotion
This is your liver's 7:15 wake up call. Mandatory margarita popsicles after work today. Rule #71: no excuses, play like a champ!
Having a vagina does not stop me from believeing my balls are bigger than yours.
This bitch rocks a fuckin fanny pack and still manages to lose her phone at every thirsty thursday
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
I decided to do drugs in front of her because if anyone can handle the truth it's a ghost
I don't like pregnant me. I eat very large burritos, I don't like having sex and I can't even finish a Blue Moon.
Can I just swipe right on his dad?
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