Partly cloudy chance of praying to the porcelin gods
You saying I have a drinkingg problem is like saying Superman has a flying problem.
wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
By the end of the night i was making legitimate noises not just saying moo.
She tried to escape and she fell and hit the door. She's gunna freak when she wakes up with only half a tooth.
I'm silent, like a masturbating ninja.
your bra might or might not be a decoration on me and my roomies xmas tree haha
Here's the thing, you got road head in two different cars tonight. You feel lucky yet?
He's so drunk he thinks he's the ultimate warrior. Told cops he was from parts unknown. Never broke character
I think pretend fucking a camel is a good thing to do downtown. They loved me.
I dont know how I should feel about you making a 37 year old come visit you and then making him do the walk of shame from your dorm room...through campus
Do you think I'm short enough to dress up in a ghost costume and go trick or treating and have people believe that I'm actually a child?
The night got interesting when the random guy next to us handed us a bottle of champagne and the rest of his ciroc bottle. When we asked why he did it, he proceeded to point at his friend who face planted the floor.
You made me brush your teeth last night......for 47 minutes.
You know its awkward when your mom walks in on you and your boyfriend yelling surprise....I was scared into an orgasm
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