Already got asked if we're dating
Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
My grandmother just explained bulimia to me as a diet
I'll never ask another girl to get on top again, that girl from the bar last night got on top and shit diareah all over my ball sack while she was cumming.
Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
I wonder if Barack Obama has ever been this drunk.
just woke up in my neighbors garage.
scratch that. I'm like 6 miles from my house in a random garage.
THERE WAS A HANDPRINT OF BLOOD ON HIS SHOULDER
Btw. Made out with a random kid at a frat. It's all good though. He invited us to his frat party tomorrow so yay! For having plans!
If you make 120 dollars and I walk instd of drive and don't eat or smoke this week we can pay rent
I just realized that at some point last night I told someone I would only be friends with 16% of them because the other 84% stole my people's land
Honesty, no. I just want to shower you with hot dogs.
Someone put pennies in the toilet. This isn't a fucking wishing well
I had to google some of the kinky sex shit she was telling me she was into.
If that is not a reason to propose to her then I don't know what is
A legendary roster of degenerates has been assembled.
Randomize
