I just ate a cockroach and I want to be a fire truck.
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
Really? Uh ohh sounds like a double date with extra stripper funnnn
Florida has a way of just fucking with a person's soul and jizzing all over their hopes and dreams. Like existential bukkake.
Let me refresh your memory. New Year's Eve in the back of my car you grabbed my hand and said feel my tumor on my butthole and at that moment I swear we were infinite
Shit. She's still hooking up with some random in the doorway. How do I get out of here?
Well hurry! Everybody is already at McDonalds.
I'm free! Didnt realize how easy it was to crawl out the window.
Like real life can suck my metaphorical dick right now.
I think there's a problem with society when I'm shopping for lingerie and I think "man some of these would make kickass shirts"
Rigtt?!
His brother just asked him in all seriousness if it would be cool if they became eskimo brother brothers.
You asked to borrow my glasses for a moment. Then you whipped them at someone's head.
I want to buy weed from this guy on Tinder but I'm not sure I should trust him...but it's free delivery
Gonna be late for work. Sex comes first. Priorities.
Go have a frustration cry and get over it
Well she's 'call Wayne Gretzky a whore' drunk so you tell me.
Randomize
