We even fucked WHILE he was making me breakfast in bed.
New thing to add to the list of never wanted to talk about with my grandma: sweating in ur crouch and vag area
is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
forgot a fork. i am eating fettucini alfredo with a comb that i rinsed off the the bathroom sink. eating alone in my car. life doesn't get any sadder than this
My fave moment of today was you sitting in a hot pink innertube puking into the ocean in front of a lot of children. i would have held your hair back but the ocean did it for you.
We'll both be dead in approximately 72-96 hours, with you bringing your liver out of retirement again, Favre.
There was a picture of him proposing on the night stand and their dog watched, but I can't help myself, his dick is just so perfect.
he swears he got herpes from a bowl of soup
Once I hang curtains in my truck bed that'll be feasible
He got hit with a horseshoe, set on fire, fell out of a tree, and puked all over the side of his car, all before midnight. Everclear.
I found where he bartends and I guarantee you that in approximately nine months from this Friday, you will have a niece
After my shift today I'm going on a bender. Not saying this so you'll stop me, just a heads up to invest in Tylenol, Gatorade, and Jack
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
Had a job interview today. Walked into the room and said "IT'S GO TIME, BITCHES".
I think I'm more excited for Santa to come now that I made a drinking game out of it
Randomize
