I puked in a mailbox on the way back from your house.
My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
he keeps dipping things in ranch and feeding them to me
if reincarnation is for serious, i better be a guy in my next life
with a huge shlong
massive. i wanna make bitches cry
I'm gonna make this happen. You think it would be too forward to text him my room number with turn by turn directions straight to my crotch?
Girl your like that last load of laundry... I'll do you eventually just not tonight.
You just want to fuck a girl in a dinosaur costume, don't you?
Am I really that girl who walks around half naked wearing a cowboy hat begging for liquor at some random guys house
sriracha body shots, that's gonna be a thing
it's like you just said "i want you to suffer"
There still is not and there never will be anything as magical as getting high while listening to William Shatner's version of Bohemian Rhapsody.
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
i may or may not have bought a plane ticket for a russian cam girl to fly here. also, can you spot me $300 on rent?
I explained to him that me turning straight is a once a year thing. And this boy just happens to be the chosen one.
I just found a piece of dried shredded carrot on my bed
my nextdoor neighbor called me saying "um hey, your mom just stumbled into bed with me and my husband, can you please come get her?"
Randomize
