He spelled "beautiful" wrong in his text
So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
a hangover this bad deserves a feeding tube
I feel violated. a guy just did an ultrasound on my balls. He made eye contact..
This soccer player girl is eating this banana WAY to slow. Too early for penis shaped foods.
Well, I can't relate. I have no idea what it feels like to withhold sex. Or have self-control in general.
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
I just stood up and am wasted. I think I just admitted to my mom that I am trying to fuck everyone in New York because they're skinny and ethnically ambiguous. Meanwhile, happy hour isn't over yet.
This is now the friendly bartender typing for him. He wants to be on you. He is going to "destroy your vagina". Good luck and sorry if this woke you up!
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
You tired to make us "vodka tacos". Which was just you dipping pitas in vodka.
Any good?
Well. FUCK YA. But that's beside the point
Only you could successfully troll for dick at a Hillel bake sale.
Other than trying to finger me on the couch in the middle of the bar a few times, you were fine.
Is it a bad sign starting the new year off naked, wet, and alone?
Asking for a friend of course
is 250 jello shots considered an open container?
Randomize
