I would like to feed your fingertips to the wolverines.
youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
im holly from the hills drunk
i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
I feel like ass. I'm missing 12 hours of my life and all I have to show for it is an empty wendys bag. Those Shrooms were too much... When do we do it again?
After I was arrested and in the back of the squad, she lit a cig. I politely stuck my head through the glass opening and asked for a drag. She instantly slammed my head back, blew smoke at me and shut the glass. My view on state trooper chicks is forever tainted.
Its a first. Never been peed on in a line to concert. First time for everything.
She kept telling me it was a squirtgun.
I have a calendar reminder for world domination today, you wouldn't happen to know anything about that would you?
She has this wild look other eyes like she wouldn't be afraid to commit a felony.
Stop your judging. I got free booze AND an oil change. You're the one whose always saying we're spending too much money.
After a while I was so wet that I started crying. HE MADE ME SO HORNY I WEPT.
First of all she starred talking about God which immediately killed my buzz
How weird is it that 2 people I've had sex with have the same birthday and they don't even know each other
hotelroom bed is big enough to masturbate in, but small enough to not want to sleep in it after you've masturbated in it
Optimism doesn't exist before 2pm nor do any other emotions.
Randomize
