420 ftw
yo im tryna cop a beej tonight
I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
i don't even remember going to get food. i think i got gas too.
He told me the hand job I gave him this morning was "lovely".
he kept a regular condom in his wallet just so he could comment on how it wouldnt fit before whipping out the magnums. i give him points for the build up
Hold my feet while i lean out of the window of the truck.
I can't. I think his penis is about to take out a restraining order against me.
If you make 120 dollars and I walk instd of drive and don't eat or smoke this week we can pay rent
You are a lesbian wizard with red hair. You are willow
Makes sense. My grandma just did this shot. MY FAMILY KICKS ASS.
He called me khaleesi while I rode his dick. He wins
He stopped mid sex to pour wine in my mouth...
Marry him.
Turns out, it's impolite to repeatedly request Seal "Kiss From a Rose" at bars
I've never seen anyone as high as you were.. you collapsed onto the kitchen floor hugging a tub of ice cream. You named it phil.
Randomize
