do you ever just like the smell of your farts?
Friend I haven't seen in almost a year just IMed me to let me know that my mom stuck her boob out the window on the freeway at her.
Her mom responded by mooning my mother. I really don't know what's worse.
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
He puked on the grill while the burgers were on. We had to go to taco bell
Why do the people I hook up with still exist after we're done?
You were all "think outside the box, inside the bag!" as you filled your camelback with beer.
It's statistically impossible for there not to be at least one guy sexting you right now
Only I could go on a date with one guy, have a beer with a different guy and go home with the guy im trying to avoid. I have a talent or a problem.
We ended up on their roof with our pants around our ankles shotgunning beers at one point.
As if I didn't already know that I was in the friend zone, our conversation that included the words "kiddo" and "old friend" really was a knee biter.
And that is why I love you so much. You have the same cold black heart as me.
he just got here with a handle of tequila and box of condoms. looks like i'll be spending the weekend in bed
Oral sex and brunch. The perfect sunday morning.
I can’t tonight. I’ve got to see about a penis
She sent a group text pic called "Assemble" of his dick next to her forearm.
I'm down.
Randomize
