Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
mom and dad googled us on the weekend. i love the internet less than i did on friday.
I hope this doesn't become one of those friendships where we dont have sex
You promised me a handle of vodka if I took home her ugly friend. Thanks to law class I took for the 2nd time I know that's a unilateral contract asshole
i think we should start charging the bum that sleeps on our porch rent..
Eh, not fuck buddies. I prefer sexercise partner.
You. Me. A bottle of Vodka. The wilderness.
My blowjobs put them in a state of relaxation similar to that of getting hit with a tranquilizer. The fear comes after the sex.
we have what I like to call an assload of ramen noodles
Found a popcorn kernel in my pubes... Time fir a Brazilian
Mimosa dick, like his cousin Whiskey dick, is just as ineffective but a lot more fun to be around
Can't trust a bar that doesn't have fireball
I'm about to turn myself in when I'm less hungover.
Don't worry you weren't as drunk as you thought. You only fell 4 times.
Randomize
