Sometimes I get depressed that my son is too young to understand how hot his babysitter is.
this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
you were sitting on my toliet with a double cheesburger in your hand asking me how the cheeseburger even got there.
you were sitting on the floor eating oats. how should i react?
I am NOT getting arrested in a wig.
I've ID'd the nipple biter.
This is now the friendly bartender typing for him. He wants to be on you. He is going to "destroy your vagina". Good luck and sorry if this woke you up!
Who wants vodka and apple sauce
She got called into work early but she left me a note that had directions to her roommates stash of weed on top of a two bacon and egg mcmuffins. I think I win.
I just offered a cat a "drinky drinky" I'd say my night has started
I hope you get your threesome on vday. I'll probably get flowers and a candlelit dinner. trade you. I wish this guy was more of a slut and had less of a heart. I would like 2 dicks please fuck your flowers!
He made her leave because she liked Top-Ramen better than Maruchaun. He's my hero.
You said if the geese can walk on the lake so can I.
I was doing good, then they gave me free shots
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