Remember that time I came into your room after taking a muscle relaxant and we argued about what state has the longest coastline?
two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
Eric and I got kicked off of karaoke last night. Apparently, singing about masturbation to the tune of "A Whole New World" is not appropriate and definitely frowned upon by the DJ.
Something strange is happening to me, I think I miss hooking up with girls sober
You would be my first round pick for a drinking team
it was like teleporting. everytime i opened my eyes, i was somewhere different... usually the floor.
Would it be weird if I bought knee pads and shin guards to fuck in my car?
I got sprayed in the face with titty milk and I'm still so traumatized
Hopefully they won't bring up last year's Christmas party. I kind of predicted my great aunt's death...
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
Like, when both of your dads are drag queens you're bound to have some amazing Halloween makeup
You were arrested in a tiara again... maybe you shouldn’t wear one.
They should invent shampoo and conditioner for sex hair. I would buy all the travel size ones.
Randomize
