Oprah is sooooo fat. I can't even concentrate on Mackenzie Phillips talking about banging her dad
I Just realized that having a picture folder that says "not for mom" may give off the wrong impression to wondering eyes
I want to give my boyfriend great head for his birthday...can i practice on you?
She was about to go down when you guys iced me. Thanks bro
both the worst and best vomit ever... it was extra chunky and thick cause of the sausage... but it also tasted like delicious sausage... also cause of the sausage
I'm literally partying with O.J. Simpson's son right now. I don't know what to make of this.
trying to imitate man vs food after 12 shots doesnt mean youll get laid
I told you all we needed steroids to survive the tour de franzia, like the bikers. But nobody listened...
Happy Birthday. May your liver respect you, fat bitches neglect you, hangovers reject you, and AA accept you.
I want to go to a gay rodeo for my cross country road trip. It'll be like my very own homo country boy pilgrimage to the holy land.
Dude! We had to write our address on your arm in permanent marker so you wouldn't get lost. You just showed the cabbie your arm and he drove you! Nice guy.
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
I don't fucking know. He perched his parrot on his dick. I left after that.
Is it too far to say to someone "you're useless for everything besides sex"
I'm high. I apologize for that last sentence
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