Jake died.
WTF????????? That's how you tell me????
Oops typo. Jake cried.
just tell him i said nine months
I think drunk me is telling hungover me something... I just have to crack the code.
he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
Just so you know, I'm standing in my bra eating cereal. My keys were in the cereal box.
i was on the fence about his sexual orientation until he referred to his marlboro loghts as "carrie bradshaws"
At 4am he sent "uree asss ize anmazin"
Believe it or not, Travis and I simultaneously breaking beer bottles over eachothers heads was not a good idea.
So it sounded like a midget was barfing IN our walls again this morning ...
The hookup that almost was... Both partys too drunk to migrate to the other.... the universe has won this one.
I feel as if the hash cupcakes on top of mushroom chocolates was a little excessive last night
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
im drinking out of a pineapple, so yea.
You got into an extremely loud argument with a juggalo and slapped him, he started crying and everyone cheered.
I remember that, it happened before I started drinking. I thought you said I did something shameful?
I am listening to Jack Johnson and wearing the sweater your Mother made me fuck mother nature I am in my happy place right now
Randomize
