matts gf stood and watched my naked ass gather my clothes off his floor this morning. sweet.
her dad's the mattress king, she's genetically engineered to be good in bed
the number of months ive had a girlfriend in my life divided by the number of blowjobs ive gotten is extremely depressing...
At any point in time, have you stopped and thought "I wonder how high Willie Nelson is right now?
so its thursday, which means its time to resume communication with you
He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
Well last time he got out of rehab he lasted 6 hours. So 3 days this time is quite an accomplishment.
My mom now keeps ice cubes on hand for my bong water. We may be able to work this relationship out.
Welp just pooped in a garbage can. Guess I'm not better than you at life in any aspect.
It's hot as dicks out. Lets get drunk on the roof and make pterodactyl sounds at people.
Today is a spill-drugs-all-over-myself kind of day.
You passed out in your dogs bed and you only willingly woke up because I told there was a bottle of vodka and a snickers bar waiting for you upstairs
I had a rough night. I'm just gonna lay here and masturbate for a while before I have to go adult.
We still getting married? Or were you day drinking
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