You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
this is never going to happen for me, I think he thinks I'm crazy
well you did scream "PLEASE! I'LL S YOUR D IN FRONT OF EVERYONE"
when we woke up the fish was dead lying next to us on the bed. wat should i tell her
He told me to pick a safe word. I said 'cactus' and he said I wasn't taking this seriously and that I wasn't cut out for s&m.
She just said she wanted to get freaky and left the room. I'm almost certain I just heard the microwave.
it was like, one of those nights where you keep going back to the fridge because you just can't get full. except, with sex.
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
I just want to have weird supply closet sex with him... and then I'll be all set. Fired, but all set.
And he came by and picked me up. We cuddled in his car then had sex until... an officer doing his rounds put a spotlight on crazy haired, naked me straddling him.
Like he was inside me when I made eye contact with a police man.
I tried to break it off with the married one. He offered to pay off my car.
The side bitch struggle is real.
I walked into the living room this morning and he was there with 3 shots in a row. He said it was "tea time."
was his pinky out?
Sorry about my sloppy drunk texts. I'm not sure talking about banging a near dead Jimmy Stewart was my finest moment
You gotta have 1 orgasm for me and the rest can be for you. I'm living vicariously through you 😂
He woke me up holding a gallon of apple juice and a shot glass...
imagine the bill from school house rock beating the shit outta you
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