i almost got kicked out of the rave because i was trying to get in on some couple's makeout sessions
I may also break bread with strippers. Because it is passover.
my mom took me to a gay bar and went on and on about all her good times at clubs... i now know where i get it
dude, I feel like I need to get my gf's roommate a gift. something that says, sorry you walked in on me getting blown. suggestions?
In your defense, I really thought capturing that alligator would have been a lot more awesome and a lot less tragic.
RIP Mr Bojangles.
230 lb girl across the train from me is giving a dude in a kilt a handjob while he sits in her lap
Bathtub guy came to. He helped me roll the fat chick away from the fridge. Shower and breakfast are on. You're plan failed!
I will also take that commission in the form of weed. Pass that on to the asst. manager.
I just had to take a picture of someone whose testicles are bigger than my fists combined. Living the dream.
Send help, water and tortillas.
He's going to find out eventually, but really what's he going to do? Cry about it and buy another fucking kitten??
Dude. I don't even want cuddles. I just want an acknowledgement that I just had balls in my mouth.
You full on peed your pants then resurrected yourself like Jesus Christ...
I think I was judged by a squirrel this morning during the walk...
im having flashbacks to my time in a waffle cult composed of 9 to 14 year olds
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