I'm so hungover that the internet is hard.
You stood in front of a yellow Camaro and kept yelling at it to "Transform already!!!!".. yeah, I'd say you were pretty wasted.
I don't know why I've never thought to take my bong into the bathtub before.
we cant have a funnel and a dog. thats a lot of responsibility
I'm gonna need a helmet and adult supervision by 9...
Alright, my brain isn't sure how to properly function on a Wednesday with no hangover and more than 3 hours of sleep.
I can't tell you what you just drank, that would ruin the point of Mystery Monday.
Still want to know how you got back last night? Two Campus Security Officers carried you in around 430. Your pants were around your ankles.
I hate Sailor Jerry.
I got a 5 dollar bill, 1 condom, and no alcohol. I get payed on Thursday. Let's do this shit.
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
Enough talk of my burning loins. How is your day?
Decided to stop by the store on my walk of shame. I must really look like shit, a six year old girl just walked up to me and said "my mommy wanted me to tell you Jesus loves you." Thanks kid.
I don't get it. If he broke into Taco Bell at 2 am, then why couldn't he have brought me home a fucking taco???
..and by hang out i don't mean fucking then going back home i mean let's get something to eat & watch a movie and fuck sometime in between.
My face is going numb. I think it's time I call it quits
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