dear santa what can i do with your candy cane?
You must have had one hell of a time explaining to that girl why aladin soundtrack was playing on repeat in your room when you got back
i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
I now have an ENTIRE drawer of unused disposable silverware from Boston Market... and you guys said I needed to "buy" kitchen stuff
Doing tuck and rolls down a stair case was not my brightest idea
Explain to me how "cheap asian titties" is a complement?
WHAT THE FUCK. SUCH A BAD IDEA. YOU'RE NO LONGER IN CHARGE OF NOSE SUBSTANCES.
Someone woke me up and gave me a sprite and some pills. I put them in my belly button. Trust no one.
Guess who won a bet and gets to name it Optimus prime if it's a boy
Nevermind. Totally worth it.
I think she's going to be dangerous to drink with, but I'm ready for the adventure.
I didn't know whether to laugh at the fact that a dog bit his balls or throw up cause my dad was telling me a story involving his balls.
I wouldn't know what to do. You never really mentally prepare for a cactus getting thrown at your face.
Now that it's fall I have to prepare for the imminent arrival of ripped up sweatpants shoved into folded over sequined uggs
There comes a point where there's just condoms and old mcdonalds in your garbage can and you can't tell if you've won or lost.
While the cops were busting my party one of them said. O you have an Xbox? Do you play online? Whats your gamertag?....
Randomize
