This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
she just refered to her hymen as "the mrs"
i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
y-o-u-r-e = you are, y-o-u-r = your. you are a bag of douche not your bag of douche. if you're going to insult me at least do it in proper english. that is all.
I asked him how he was going to celebrate tomorrow and he said "tits, clits, and bong hits"
He was really drunk and I dared him to jump the swimming pool on his bike. Sadly he couldn't. Hey did you know a testicle can burst?
I love drunk self when he leaves a prepacked bong for the morning... in the bathroom.
If it wasn't obvious enough to the cops that she was drunk, she threw in, "I like the colors of the lights because it makes purple."
I remember all the people and all the acts I just have to match the person with the act
The face that yo gabba gabba comes up when I'm stoned and searching for yoga workouts is scary or dangerous
Why the fuck is he under my phone as Papi Chulo?
State dependent memory. I just needed to feel my teeth. It was like a fog was lifted.
I don't really want to talk about it, but if anyone finds my unicorn mask with my bra in it, I would really like that back.
too bad burritos don't cuddle back
Took an adderall for the first time in a few weeks. Spent 45 minutes peeling an orange TO PERFECTION.
Randomize
