Why didn't you tell me that Dad was a registered sex offender?
We were going to tell you eventually, how'd you find out?
Our school resource officer showed us how to use Family Watchdog and pulled up his picture.
On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do?
dude i need to stop getting high. i cant afford to eat like this...
I want to break up with him.....but he has a george forman grill...like I need that
I told him I had AIDS after he bit me. His dad cried. I think I just ruined the little guy's 3rd birthday, but he had in coming.
I had another sex dream about you but it was very dissatisfying. As you finished you starting singing the star spangled banner. then you left. I was not amused.
Dude it's sisterhood of the traveling wine glasses here
Hun, it's always cinco de Drinko in our family. It's like Groundhog Day. Only with more booze.
I tried to prevent a bar fight. By convincing a guy whacked out on Molly to slap the ass of everyone who was arguing and shout "WOO" each time. I'm proud, surprised, and intrigued that it calmed everyone down so quickly...
she definitely didn't appreciate it when you justified bringing her home by yelling to me "fat bitches need love too"
It wouldn't be New Years Eve if we knew where we would be at midnight
Lord give me the strength to not check my tinder messages at my grandmother's wake.
Like, I don't need to know your life dude. I just need you to suck my tits.
I'm drunk listening and crying to Selena. How's your Monday?
i let a mormon finger me. i don't ever want to be that drunk again.
Fucking a younger guy is now a game of odds. The chance that he gives me corona virus is outweighed by the evening of orgasms I know he’ll give me.
Randomize
