Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
More tranny stories later!
there is a homeless man oan crack poledancing on a fence... now hes humping it...
the last girl i hooked up with and the last guy i hooked up with are hooking up right now. this is where bisexuality becomes a problem.
Haha im sorry. Its just financially responsiable to bang him instead of you right now.
just remembered that i started a tab for just myself at 50 cent beer night last night... i dont understand my life
For some reason there are two like 10 year old black girls crumping at the bar. I feel like I'm in a missy elliot video.
Oh please tell me that I'm sleeping in your shower and not the neighbor's again
I just got head while watching air force one. Harrison ford would be proud.
Walk of shame dressed as a Christmas tree, it happened. Ho ho ho bitches
I should start wearing my Batman shirt more often when I drink. Good things happen. All sorts of shit.
pretty sure I blew his mind with the sex last night. He repaid me with a five minute conversation about power rangers.
gin. gin. Gin. GIN GIN GINGINFFdJH
On a scale of one to Harambe, how attached were you to your goldfish?
don't take this the wrong way, but I'm not drunk but I need you to take me to the ER and you're the most likely to not be drunk now.
Randomize
