i sold my breathalizer so i could buy weed
ok, she started talking about how she swears her step dad killed her mom. starting to back out of this one
I'm drunk on a monday night. Not a good start to finals week
he might be the rich husband I pretend to love for the rest of my life!!!!
The party got busted because you two got caught having sex on the neighbors trampoline, come on man.
I got picked up after "I just threw up in my face". Then I had very specific instructions involving the bathtub.
orgasmnado...tomorrow night
That's what I'm talking about
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
I puked and rallied in front of a cop...and then waved at him....
SCUSE ME I KNOW YOU DIDNT DO THAT MUCH COKE IN 10 MINUTES
Don't judge me. It's a Monday night and I can eat burritos in while bathing in the kitchen sink if I want to.
This town is a penis wasteland. I haven't seen a suitable penis in months. This is becoming an emergency situation. I need penis in my life
At one point in the night, as we were running from the cops, I clearly remember you yelling "little gnomes are tickling the insides of my body!" ...that high.
She did what?
Who. The correct term is she did who.
Did you see him? The correct term is definitely what.
Are you rolling a joint while doing homework?
No, I am rolling a joint with my homework.
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