We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
Sitting here wishing there were men in my life.
me too. too bad ive decided to fill that hole with cookie dough, closing the door to future men one fat cell at a time.
We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
shes the only person ive ever met that could make "i don't swallow" sound sexy
I think I need to stop sleeping with him. Sex with him is just a reminder of the mediocrity of the rest of my life.
July 5th AKA Day of regret AKA picnicing in a laundromat. Someone puked allover the comforter. Liffe of champions.
Did you make me take pictures of your ass last night because you fucked on some wet paint or did i dream that?
Ok now a guy in a winnie the pooh costume is grinding on some chick to the song shots
So topless strobe light beer pong turned into me rugby tackling a bitch to the ground.my tits will never forgive me for sacrificing their majesticness for responsibility
I only had sex with him so I could try to steal his roommate's cat, what kind of girl do you think I am?
I'm ok. I've got the pantsless-with-dignity thing down pat
we got kicked out of the bar last night for sneaking into the back kitchen and eating handfulls of cheese in the walk in fridge
I know I come to this conclusion on a fairly regular basis but I really do need a babysitter
IM HAMMERED AND JUST HAD CHEESECAKE THAT MADE ME FEEL LIKE NO MAN HAS EVER MADE BE FEEL BEFORE.
Sorry I threw up all over your Lyft.
It's ok I woke up next to a dumpster.
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