If Andre Agassi did Crystal Meth, what was John McEnroe doing?
maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
When you started Hi-fiving people I knew u were fucking gone. You slapped some dude on the shoulder when he wouldn't hi-five you and he asked if he even knew you
Its pretty simple actually, if she texts me either Grr or Rawr it means she is horny and wants to bone. its a perfect system
i'm sure the inside of her vag looks like Normandy circa 1944
and yes i had to double check that date for that joke to be accurate
After a couple hours you decided you were going to walk home but ten minutes later you called and said you'd puked by the side of the road and you needed us to drive you to the art museum.
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
Let's just rave with boners that last for hours
There are flashing lights and a man dressed as Santa with a bullhorn in my cul de sac.
I'm not sure if this is awesome or scary.
I just won a riveting game of "who can drink the most vodka out of a hollowed out watermelon". Fucking New Yorkers.
Omg do you remember last night you kept pointing to your vag asking who wants to play this like a fiddle hahaha
I think it's god's punishment for my behavior in Vegas . Lies were told. Angels were defiled. Pools were pissed in
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
The only person I have to bring is crazy hospital guy
HE'S NOT INVITED!!!
She just took all of the blankets in the house and threw them in the yard, because 'the grass was cold'..
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