i'm like carrie bradshaw but prettier and with a penis
Should I hook up with a slut its your call
Yes. Wrap it. If you dont have a condom do it anyway. YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE.
Mars, I'm going to name my child horatio mars. He will hate me till he gets high. Then he'll understand
I'm lying here drinking water from a shot glass..moving is not an option right now
will you please stage a drunk girl intervention and tell him that his chain is severely harming his chances of getting laid tonight?
I successfully convinced a drunk NDSU student that their school does not have a football team and another that they weren't in Fargo. I'm a dangerous sober shark in a sea of drunks.
Oh, honey. If you're seeing a girl just for the sex, never doubt that she knows and she's doing the same thing. We're not stupid, we're just craftier than you.
As much as I enjoyed playing drunk half naked twister and talking about my daddy issues last time, I'll have to pass.
I am so disappointed that he didn't steal a Christmas tree last night.
Imma go take shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
No, I'm not a heathen. You two are the heathens, I'm the whore.
Dude I love you. So much. Thank u. I'm safea. In allysi lns car. Mine towed. If u loved me ud leand me 500 in the morning. Sleep on it nd let me know.
Im four hours late for work AND i pissed my bed
oh what is to come when my single life starts with a threesome?
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
Randomize
