he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
It's sad that I have started checking out the ring finger before the rack...I'm getting old
Sam from lord of the rings is 10 yards away from me, i am creaming myself.
People were autographing me. I'm like the spring break yearbook
She woke me up, whispered "I like the size of your dick", kissed me, and rolled over and went back to sleep
but you don't have to sleep on top of four different cum stains because you'd rather buy a case of Franzia than spend $3.50 in the student laundry room
Oh, and my friends believe you should reimburse me for the brazilian that was gone to waste.
Just hooked up with a girl I met in line at Taco Bell. I told you leave me to do my own thing and I'll get it in
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
I just dropped my cookie in my glass of milk and looked at it for ten minutes. Thanks for telling me you made weed cookies.
He peed my bed and tried to say it was just the wine. The red wine. On white sheets. He's not a good liar.
I slapped a guy during sex last night because he moaned the wrong name. Then I remembered I gave him a fake name. Sorry bro.
he came over last night and we fucked with the great british baking show on in the background. it was beautiful
I just convinced a telemarketer I live in a tree.
What did he say?
He still asked if I want a home security system.
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