I just witnessed someone getting head in the parking garage. Don't ever tell me Baylor is too conservative again.
He must be back home now. He moved his box of beer from her porch to ours.
this morning i checked my reflection in the toilet as i was throwing up to make sure i still had my pearl earrings on
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
I got offered a handle of vodka and tomato soup to bring his dog home. He knows me all too well.
he's my ex-boyfriend's best friend... he tried to make out with me to prevent me from hitting his friend. then they almost fought about it.
teach me your ways.
I used the picture of my mom and I doing blow job shots in Vegas in the presentation for my Spanish final. Graduation here I come.
What's life without a lamp shade you wore home?
My arrest report says I was found in midtown "performing lewd and lascivious acts on top of art meant for public display and enjoyment".
Good, I would never sleep with your boyfriend , or send you an edible arangment
I don't think meeting his drug dealers counts as a relationship landmark.
...take a good look at your butthole.... then try matching it to any paint color on the Benjamin Moore color wheel....not gonna happen...
He literally knows my vagina better then I do.
It was like sex on an active volcano surrounded by the night sky and bloodhounds. And by that I mean it was nice.
I just got baptized.
Drunkenly skinny dipping in a indoor hotel pool is not okay and does not count as a baptism.
Randomize
