If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
Do you ever just think "I could really go for a good 30 minute blowjob". I do. Everytime jill smiles.
Dude totally calling you out on watching when harry met sally on netflix on demand on april 8th.
I puked in the revolving door and had to sit down on the escalator. That hungover. It's safe to say people are judging me.
Just drunk tweeted NASA asking them to give me a lift home in one of their spaceships. Fingers crossed
Want me to give your number to an army recruiter?
I don't know... do you want me to use your number to sell used gay porn on Craigslist?
I sense beginning a prank war would end badly for both of us.
I thought you just gave him blowjobs and he criticized your drug use.
I woke up sick this morning, maybe sucking a random dudes finger at a bar last night wasn't that clean of an idea.....
I have bits of ceiling fan all over now
So TMI but just realizing I have not masturbated since trump took office. He's sucked the sex drive out of me.
i have too much dick at my disposal? i should make them fight. best dick pic gets laid
why do i have a pole dance champion shot glass?
First walk of shame in 18 years. Divorce is going well.
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