So you coming over for some grilled cheese and head?
I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
Could you explain why there is an Australian passport in your toilet?
oh ps. last night you kept telling me to calm down because everything was fine cause you were getting "arab money"...
I'm sober enough to realize she looks like a man, but drunk enough to do it anyways
Ikeep having to ask jim if I'm actually talking. I canmt feel my body...this is what Christmas is all about
Woke up on the stairs at my parents house. Good start to vacation.
Yeah sorry about that. I got pulled into the Russian student society's end of term party. There was too much vodka and eurodance to come help you pack.
I haven't filled him in on Operation "find a sugar daddy & suck dick for money" yet, but I'm sure he just wants me to be happy.
I can't even masturbate without crying fuck this break up
I just twinged a muscle in my shoulder trying to hug myself. In the world of loneliness-based injuries, this is a new low for me.
On a unprofessional note, there's a new girl in photo.
That wasn't unprofessional. The fact that I'm going to fuck her is unprofessional.
Last time I checked he was house sitting for his ex while she was out of town with some new dude. He was crying about how the guy told him to stay out of his whiskey while he was gone. That's whipped
Details are irrelevant. Come bail me out of jail.
Randomize
