We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
We George Forman grilled some girls phone last night.
Got drunk. Then they sung "we didnt start the fire" to my other cousin who accidentally burnt down the house when she was younger.
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
Correct me if I'm wrong, but I did not stop moving last night. If tequila gives me that extra push to have an active lifestyle, so be it.
You fucked her?! HER?!
She sent me a nudie pic with a bunch of weed nuggets all over her tits...what was I supposed to do? I don't hate America sir.
He was saying things like "cum for me like a good girl" and "put my entire python I like to call a dick in your mouth" .. Okay I might have changed that one a bit
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
Every minute you wait for the sex that's not gonna happen, we're missing a tone deaf, drunk, tard-asaurus rex half-sing a 90's song to a bunch of other dinotards at karaoke.
It was all fun and games until he noticed the hickey that he hadn't given me...
What i love about my dog is i can lay in bed and masturbate with him at the foot, and he just leaves me alone.
Lol he touched my butt after his grad party and a shooting star went by. No kidding. My ass is mystical.
Can you bring me some underwear? I feel uncomfortable going underwear less at a Remembrance Day ceremony.
All I ever do is give guys anxiety problems and flaccid penises.
No you just wanted to pass out in your hallway because your room was too far away
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