I almost got runover on the sidewalk by a car but wen it got closer it was a crackhead walking with the whole front of a car... bumper, lights and all... I love New York.
We have a drunk bartender with her nips a quarter inch from bein out buying us shots. GET HERE.
You just said the magic words
Well i tried snorting sugar. so either that made me puke or the fact that i drank water from a fish tank
Well, that's a 3 inch weight lifted off of my vagina
Maybe you shouldn't go to cosmic bowling, i don't know if cum glows and I don't wanna find out i'm sure his parents don't either.
Well be careful man. Be careful. Wear shoes in the house. Safety. Safety first, then teamwork.
I got really upset at the McDonald's worker. They should serve nuggets 24/7. Apparently 5am is breakfast for some people.
I will rip it off your body in ways are socially offensive but you still kind of like.
I put a zucchini in my pussy for you
Kelly and I just had sex, and you didn't call or text to interrupt, are you alive? We are both concerned.
Chicks dig it when you smell like bong water and frebreeze.
Can I come over and get it in, take a nap in ur bed, grab some poptarts and then leave?
You haven't lost that air of class about you...
He fucked the hangover right out of me. That good.
God yes pancakes and booze sounds like the best night ever.
Let the record show that I hate your ass.
Randomize
