But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
i just looked at my contacts and realized i saved the pizza hut girl's number as "fckucin pizza" the other night.
My mouth holds just enough water for my bong
I just walked into my exam wearing a mans tshirt and Alex's size 13 crocs twenty min late carrying only a pencil and my heels...I'm not real
Hey, next time you have sex, flick his balls, and tell him "thats for getting spit in jennifer's eye and laughing about it."
just watched my roommates get stoned and jury rig a pulley system to pass the bowl back and forth across the room.
sounds like it. if it makes you feel better i blew up a $75000 farm tractor last night.
To be fair, I'm probably one of the better candidates for the role of 'baby daddy' in this town
Either sorry for fondling you Saturday or thank you for letting me fondle you Saturday.
Dinner at my parents is vodka, lemonade, cheese ad crackers. Why would I leave?
I will give you the couch, a small portion of the fridge, and plenty of beer.
Got my future figured out. I'm oddly comforted. Thanks, bro.
To be fair, this is a tequila-while-rewatching-Benedict-Cumberbatch-as-Van-Gogh idea, so I don't know if it will hold up tomorrow.
How drunk you think somebody has to be, that they think that putting out a profile pic like that can be even a slightly good idea?
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
The only food I have to eat is weed gummies and magic mushrooms... This is peak 34
Randomize
