Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
I don't even have to turn the heat on in my car. Just fart the whole way home.
he was drinking wine. Puking into an empty water bottle. And eating french toast. ....All at the same time.
Well.. considering he unknowingly dated a prostitute, I consider myself the winner in that break up.
I really want to title the album "I want to make sex with your face" but I also want a job someday. Temptations, temptations.
i've never seen someone face fit so perfectly in a toilet bowl
I'm mentally preparing my vagina for this semester. It's fucking welcome week. I'm going to be talking to her all night.
I can only take thier stupid "I think beauty school is for me" routine so long until I have to bitch slap them with some knowledge
Hey remember that spam cooked in dr pepper we made? 10x better when the dr pepper is rum
YOU ARE TAKING ADVANTAGE OF MY INEBRIATED STATE
YOU ARE DRUNK AND USED AND SPELLED THE WORD "INEBRIATED" CORRECTLY. I AM TAKING ADVANTAGE OF NOTHING.
I CAN'T HELP THAT I'M MULTITALENTED YA FUCKER
Gotta admit I did think about bartering you out to the gay guys for $20 and the dudes flashy neck scarf
He stumbled in drunk at 7am, while we were getting ready for work. He poured a bowl of Cap'n Crunch, poured Jack Daniels on it., and said he was having "Captain Jack" for breakfast. I don't know how he's alive and employed. I hope the Cap'n calls in sick for him today.
For one week of my life every time I pull my cock out I want the Jurassic Park theme music to start playing.
I just bartered a blowjob for the ex-fiancée's engagement ring. FTW!
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