honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
He looked me in the chest and said "I think I was visited by the titty fairy last night"
you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
smoked some of that legal weed last night, felt like God himself legit bent me over his knee and spanked my ass. Never again..never.
This guy at the airport was telling me 3/4 dudes in his group got rufied at some strip club. One guy woke up in the hospital, another found himself in a random parking garage, the other got back to the room and they all shit their pants. Go Vegas.
He told me he felt like he was just pistol-whipped by Testicle Man.
Best ethics paper a stoner could write. I called my professor Dr. Superfly Arandia. And I'm pretty sure I used "respect the hustle" somewhere in there too.
I woke up in a bunk bed beside two Brazilians dude you have no idea how happy I was
all i tweeted was "emergency this is not a drill" and he immediately texted me asking if this was a subtle booty call…it was
No one should ever be so high that they forget the food. That's just...its a violation of God and Nature, of the very laws that we live by!
I have a horrible feeling I left my dildo in the kitchen today after washing it. This is my life.
The last thing I remember is trying to chug the rest of the everclear, running through a fence, and laying down in the snow. I hurt.
I woke up to the smell of shame and vomit in my hair... went to the bathroom to shower and passed out... woke back up naked with the blow dryer on... thanks for making my birthday a success
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