R you on birth control?
No, why?
...no reason
He came through my line today and bought designer impostor perfume, just for men gel, and astroglide. I almost DIED.
so, just learned that EVERYONE heard pretty much everything last night. my roommates were surprised to learn you're a dirty talker.
I'm lit.While shaving my legs I pretended the razor was a tractor cutting down corn. Noises included.
Apparently the last thing they remember of me was me stumbing into a bathroom, then falling out 5 minutes later clutching a butter knife repeating "ketamine goes in my face hole"
the boys lacrosse roster just went up... now we can see who we had sex with
I figured, if I'm going to wear a gold cape its pretty safe to assume I'll be blacking out as well.
Will do. If it all falls thru I'm just gonna set up a sprinkler in my back yard and run thru it while taking jello shots. Perfect alternative to my 29th bday.
I just fully woke up, never smoking that much weed again. I had stress dreams about your house being surrounded by a lake and we kept losing our cars in it.
Halloween: the only night of the year wheee the more high I get, the more it compliments my makeup and outfit.
2015 is a year for health and mental stability and alas we are not yet there so yolo
I just realized it's officially fall..I had sex while watching Halloween
I hate being on my period . Did you know that by the time I'm 30 I would've wasted 1,176 days of my life I could've had sex but couldn't bc I was on my period.
I seriously thought Satan had his hand up my asshole and was pulling out my soul. Never. Again.
we've dated a week and made out twice. he is taking it slow. but his body is stupid sexy. just want him to stop respecting me and fuck me like a gutter slut. respect me later im not getting younger.
Randomize
