Theyre still fighting about whether its called america or the united states.
I just named my vagina "The Boneyard"
More like "Chia Pet"
Im telling you now. Hang out with winning football players and you get whatever the hell you want. Sorry to wake you. But its important knowledge.
Defiantly just threw away our yearly bottle collection in front of the campus tour. The school should pay me for recruitment
We have literally factored in $2200 for bail money in the budget. This vegas trip will be out of hand. We are signing confidentiality contracts.
You should've come out last night, I need someone to explain why the bartender tried to strangle me...
I don't think my arm is broken I can still text
His concept of male bonding is doing lines in adjacent stalls.
If you ever find a dick that big chop it off and bring it to me.
But he made me breakfast and understands the fuck sleep fuck sleep necessities
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
i woke up hungover wearing my gym shorts and the condom from last night. Wine bar thursdays rule.
my dad just paid them in porn...i no longer feel guilty for getting hammered and not helping
Spring Fling is on 420. The theme better be 'Flower Child'.
I want there to be fog machines and unicorns.
a girl walked up to me and asked if you were my brother. she shook her head and said 'im so sorry' when i said yes. what did you fucking do????????
Randomize