i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
we have to go try and show our tits so we can get ID-free drinks at applebees
Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
I guess i tried to text 911 last night with "someone stole my bong." Thank god that doesn't work...
you ever feel like there is a sober person insided you pointing and laughing....?
So the same day I accidentally bought waterproof mascara is the day I accidentally had shower sex. The world is finally on my side.
luckily my workout playlist doubles as a masturbation playlist.
she has an amazing ass but I need more beers to get past her horse face. It works out perfect becauseI can use her teeth as a bottle opener.
It's getting increasingly easier to use his emotional instability to my advantage. That's about all he has going for him right now.
I'm gay. Congratulations to whoever had January 2014 in their pool.
He gave me the "find somebody who wants to date you for who you are" speech while I walked around the house asking people for pants.
I just got dropped off by that cop that pulled you over. Best sex ever! Consider that $140 ticket my birthday present.
He literally lured me in the house with his cat then we ended up fucking on the living room couch while the cat just sat there and watched
I’m not closing myself off the to the possibility of making a bad life choice.
He showed up on school grounds wearing nothing but a suit of armor. Really at this point I'm more impressed than angry.
Randomize
