Holy shit. Do you realize what this means? Officially all of my ex-bfs are either dead or gay
this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
Someones grandma was rubbing my back. I'm way too high for this.
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
Honestly the war on drugs is dumb and you can just sleep in my bed which is mega comfortable anytime you want. There I said it
The acoustics in my bra are fantastic.
We all have to be good at something. Mine are writing, drinking, fucking and peer pressure.
I vaguely remember hanging my bra off the ceiling fan and chugging a beer during sex
College has turned you into quite the multi tasker huh?
I remember saying to him "Fun fact! If you lie this way it's easier to deep throat!" I even judge me.
all I'm saying is if you're gonna fuck a fat chick do it in a pool it's like zero gravity or something
how did you graduate high school
So I just crossed my legs and I was like what is this lump on my leg? Oooh its my underwear from last time I wore these jeans...
You know you're hung over when the glare from the cream cheese on your bagel is just too bright...
I am so not sober enough to have a 5 minute conversation in Spanish
Did I turn a man straight...??
Yes!
Her mom Is so hot that when she was bending over i just zoned out starin at her ass her dad slapped me on the back an said let me tell you son everything you see here is mine and you had better realize i felt like simba
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