if she shaves her mustache, i'll let her give me head
So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
It's hard to be above the influence when you are the influence.
apparently breaking a beer bottle and then throwing up in a urinal is a terrible way to pick up girls.
Should I mail that cop his nightstick or just throw it away?
I'd appreciated it if you didn't lick my boyfriends face again. I'm askin nicely. Thank you.
SHE WON'T ROUND UP MY GRADE! I have a 79.8% I ONLY MISSED TWO CLASSES!!! ONE WHEN I GOT DRUGGED AND ONE WHEN MY CAR GOT BROKEN INTO!! I'm interculturally competent. I used to date a Italian/Cherokee Indian. I fucked a Palestinian. How much more pro-peace can you get?
You won't wear your Santa suit, I can't get trashed, and you won't use handcuffs! This is the worst Christmas EVER.
she was braiding my hair and singing forever young while she vommed everywhere at the same time. Talent.
He did leave his bud tall boy and 2 choco tacos, so not a total loss.
Dude, if I don't end up wearing a banana suit in Milwaukee, I will consider that trip a complete failure.
We haven't been trashed enough to shut down a bar together in four days. I'm starting to worry that we're growing apart.
Do you remember telling those ppl that they need to mate and give you the baby and in 15 years you will all reunite and it will be a party?
She called me at 2am crying because her late night booty call moved out of state
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